THE OLDER CROWD A distraught senior
>citizen Phoned her doctor’s office.
>’Is it true,’ she wanted to know,
>’that the medication
>You prescribed has to be taken
>For the rest of my life?’
>’Yes, I’m afraid so,’ the doctor told her.
>There was a moment of silence
>Before the senior lady replied,
>I’m wondering, then,
>Just how serious is my condition
>Because this prescription is marked
>’NO REFILLS’.’
>***********************
>An older gentleman was
>On the operating table
>Awaiting surgery
>And he insisted that his son,
>A renowned surgeon,
>Perform the operation.
>As he was about to get the anesthesia,
>He asked to speak to his son
>’Yes, Dad, what is it? ‘
>’Don’t be nervous, son;
>Do your best
>And just remember,
>If it doesn’t go well,
>If something happens to me,
>Your mother
>Is going to come and
>Live with you and your wife….’
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>Aging:
>Eventually you will reach a point
>When you stop lying about your age
>And start bragging about it..
>———————————
>(My favorite)
>The
>older we get,
>The fewer things
>Seem worth waiting in line for.
>———————————
>
>Some people
>Try to turn back their odometers.
>Not me!
>I want people to know ‘why’
>I look this way.
>I’ve traveled a long way
>And some of the roads weren’t paved.
>********************
>
>When you are dissatisfied
>And would like to go back to youth,
>Think of Algebra.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>You know you are getting old when
>Everything either dries up or leaks.
>——————————-
>
>One of the many things
>No one tells you about aging
>Is that it is such a nice change
>From being young.
>
>Ah, being young is beautiful,
>But being old is comfortable.
>
>First you forget names,
>Then you forget faces.
>Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
>It’s worse when
>You forget to pull it down.
>———————————
>Long ago
>When men cursed
>And beat the ground with sticks,
>It was called witchcraft…
>Today, it’s called golf.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>Two guys one old one young
>Are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart
>When they collide.
>The old guy says to the young guy,
>’Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife,
>And I guess I wasn’t paying attention
> To where I was going. The young guy says, ‘That’s OK,
>it’s a coincidence.
>I’m looking for my wife, too…’
>I can’t find her and I’m getting a little desperate’
>The old guy says, ‘Well,
>Maybe I can help you find her..
>What does she look like?’
>’ The young guy says,
>’Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall,
>With red hair,
>Blue eyes, is boxumwearing
>no bra
>Long legs,
>And is wearing short shorts.
>What does your wife look like?’
>To which the first old guy says, ‘Doesn’t matter,
>— let’s look for yours.’
>*********************
>
>Lord,
>Keep Your arm around my shoulder,
>And, Your hand over my mouth!